The Failing of a Soul
by chartreuseputty
Summary: This is the story of Hidan's early life and how he came to be a follower of Jashin. Lots of creepiness and blood and killing, just the way we like it. o
1. Symbol in the Snow

So, apparently Hidan is from somewhere that is the complete opposite of where I put him in this story which I did not know but...hopefully this can still be interesting. : )

_Symbol in the Snow_

The Hidden Village of Ice sat lonely atop a high mountain peak, in a place where the sun never shone through hail-stormy clouds. Each year a hand-full of children were born, small, cold, with hair white as snow and eyes purple as the lips of one frozen over in ice. These frail people lived their lives in fear of the coming winters, where water skin and blood froze upon contact, and their children shivered and dropped one by one into the darkness of the mountaintop's curse. They were a dying people, ones who had no hope of survival. But one day, a fate befell them that was perhaps worse than a slow death.

Hidan was lost. The blizzard had begun early that morning, waking him from restless sleep as snow fell in chunks from the cliff overhang onto the roof of their hut. His mother was standing by the window looking out into the sheer white, wringing her hands, gently stroking the soft head of his new baby sister. It was the fifth blizzard of the month, a record for the Village of Ice since before Hidan was born twelve years ago, a bad omen for the oncoming winter which had yet to come. Dread hung languid in the air.

Up ahead something loomed in the blinding snow-light. Hidan pulled his cloak closer to his body as he stepped forward, wandering treacherously out from the solitary pine-tree where he had found rest and out toward the unknown object. As he neared he saw that the object was the dark of a cave, and the boy stopped by the entrance. A strong gust blew from behind him and knocked him forward, sending him sprawling into the snow. The cold quickly snuck in-between the gaps in his clothing, sending instant chills throughout his body. Hidan stood and brushed himself off then stepped inside the cave.

Earlier that day his mother was cooking a watery stew of the last bit of meat they had saved. Hidan sat upon the floor, slurping the hot soup and warming his hands on its steamy glass, ignoring his screaming baby sister who was hungry though they had no milk to feed her. Sitting in a chair by the window was his father, holding an empty bowl in his hand and the stump of one which he lost to frostbite before Hidan was born. The baby's screaming grew louder despite his mother's attempts to quiet her by carrying her round the room and cooing gentle words.

When Hidan finished eating he set the bowl on the floor. "Was that the last of our food?" he asked.

His parent's didn't answer, hardly acknowledged he had spoken. Hidan waited, but when they continued to stay silent he didn't have to ask again to figure out the answer.

"Can't we go hunting again?"

His father sullenly shook his head. "The blizzard is too fierce."

Hidan rose from the floor and leaned as close to the frosty window-pane as he dared. He could barely see the door of their neighbor's hut, which was sitting only a few yards away. Hidan scrunched his forehead into a frown. Across the way he imagined the Suzuki family, sitting in their slightly larger home, eating the meat the father with two hands had caught easily in the days before the blizzard. He turned away from the window and passed by his mother on the way to the little bedroom in the back. Once there he burrowed under the blankets and listened to the wind screaming outside his window.

As he stepped inside the cave the air immediately became quiet. He removed his wet and snowy cloak from his shoulders and hung it on a rock to dry. He foolishly left home in the afternoon, thinking he could hunt for food and save himself and his dying family. Unlike the rest of the passive people of Ice, Hidan was born with a fire burning in his heart, to live, and it was simply waiting for something to feed its flames.

The white haired boy began to wander the cave to keep his frosted joints in motion. He pounded his worn boots on the icy ground, making the gargantuan icicles shake from their precarious hold on the ceiling. Ever since he was old enough to think for himself he believed the village was a worthless place, that there must be more to life, to the world, than snowy days and hungry nights.

"Oh Kami, save me from this place," he whispered, warm breath turning to cold fog in the stagnant air.

As he turned to stare out into the raging blizzard something flashed in the snow by the entrance, catching his eye. He approached the object and dug it out from the snow, then held it up to the light. It was a brass necklace, shiny though it seemed old, and a pendant hung from the bottom in the shape of an upside down triangle inside a circle.

Hidan stared at the strange symbol, intrigued. In all his years he had never found anything while walking through the snow, believed that no one lived in the desolate place other than the villagers in Ice. Who had dropped such a precious thing at the foot of this cave?

Hidan placed the necklace securely in the pocket of his pants and wrapped his cloak around his shoulders. It was foolish to wander through the blizzard, and he decided it was time to go home.

...

so this is the first chapter of the story. It's short but the others are longer and hopefully I can keep updating soon! Also i was planning to post this after I completed it but i kind of hit a wall so I decided just to post and hopefully I'll finish.


	2. Troubled Dreams

_Troubled Dreams_

Hidan went to sleep that night hungry. When he returned at nightfall his parents had not the strength to scold him for running away. Despair had fallen so totally upon the household Hidan doubted that they realized he had even left. So, he closed his eyes as he lay between the wall and his mother in their only bed and clutched the necklace he found tightly his fist.

**Why do you tremble?**

Hidan opened his eyes though there was nothing to see. He was standing in a valley of snow that stretched on for miles, to end in distant mountain peaks. He had never seen this place before.

**You are afraid.**

He turned round in a full circle though the voice's speaker could not be found. It sounded as if it was coming from the very air itself.

"I'm not afraid of anything," Hidan replied.

The valley was silent, with not a breath of wind nor the soft muffled thumps of falling snow. Hidan had never sat in upon total silence, silence like death.

Suddenly the voice began to laugh, a low echoing boom that would have caused avalanches. The white haired boy clapped his hands over his ears. Whatever dream this was, it felt very real.

**Liar.**

The valley shimmered and the scenery started to melt, revealing a new scene behind it. This one was his village, silent and dark under silver glare of the moon. The picture began to move, rushing toward one of the houses. The door then opened and the view stepped inside. On the floor were two bodies, purple and blue, with icicles hanging from their mouths and the corners of their eyes.

Hidan gasped and turned his head away, but the scene was everywhere all around him. It drew back from the two frozen people, whom Hidan recognized as his neighbors, turned and rushed at another house.

The door opened and revealed the inside of his own house. His father was sitting by the windowsill, as he always did, frozen solid. Though he was facing the widow his open eyes were fixed upon the doorway, at Hidan. Their white empty gaze pierced that of the boy's own fearful purple one, and the panorama swiveled to face the kitchen. Inside, Hidan's mother sat at the table with her head on the wooden top, lying as though sleeping off a hard afternoon. The baby was nowhere to be found.

Hidan tried to run but nothing happened save the frantic rush of his legs. As the years wore on he had been suffering from dreams of death, each one more vivid than the last. The other villagers couldn't see, refused to see that their doom was drawing near, stalking them beneath the mountains of snow, waiting to grab hold of their ankles and draw them into darkness forever.

"Ya! Onegai, enough!" Hidan cried as the scene moved again to face the closed door that led into the bedroom. The door was wrenched open.

**Look upon what is inside, for that is what you fear most.**

The scene was silent save for the thumping of Hidan's heart. In the corner of the room, lying beneath the covers of the bed was a figure that grew more recognizable as the panorama slowly glided toward it. The boy saw himself lying in the bed. Just as dead and frozen as his neighbors were, as his parents were. Hidan opened his mouth to scream and the scene fell away to nothing.

**I know what you fear. You fear the nothingness after death.**

Everywhere he looked Hidan saw nothing. No sound, no smell, no feel. And the boy fell to his knees.

**When you are cold and buried six feet under the snow, who will remember your name?**

Hidan clutched at his head and curled into a ball. Even below him there was nothing.

**Where will you go?**

He felt something grab hold of the molecules inside him and slowly start to pull them away from each other. Sucking them all in different directions, each one into its own dimension. Was this what death felt like?

**You will disappear, never to return. Floating in an absent singularity, forever and ever.**

"S-stop…" Hidan whimpered, squeezing the words out from his lungs.

The air continued to pull at him and Hidan's ears started popping as the pressure drastically decreased inside his body. He coughed, and droplets of blood flew through the air for a brief moment before they disappeared.

**But you don't have to die.**

The voice sounded close, as though the speaker had materialized and was standing right behind the kneeling boy. Something ghosted across Hidan's shoulder, an invisible hand come to comfort to him.

**If you pledge your life and loyalty to me and only me. Pledge your soul to me, Jashin, and you will gain immortality.**

The hand caressed the boy's white hair, and Hidan and sniffled and wiped his running nose on the back of his arm. He wanted the nightmare to end.

"I-I pledge…"

The hand clutched a handful of his hair.

"…my soul to Jashin-sama."

The hand let go and disappeared.

**You will be my most prized pupil yet**, it said in a whisper, and then everything turned black.


	3. The Power of a God

The Power Of a God

Hidan woke in a cold sweat with the necklace clutched in his hand so tightly it had left an indentation on the skin. The morning had already passed into afternoon and his parents were gone from the bed. Panicked, Hidan whipped back the covers and flung open the door, and was relieved to see them both sitting at the table.

"Oh Hidan, look! It just dropped dead on our doorstep," his mother exclaimed.

On the table was the flank of a mountain goat, the best and most difficult creature to capture in the village. His father was smiling as he cut the meat into cubes and Hidan saw a pot boiling on the stove.

"We'll be alright, at least for another few days," the father said calmly.

Hidan smiled and ran to his parents, forgetting about the dream from the night before.

…………………………………………………………

The blizzard had subsided sometime in the night and Hidan ventured out into the village square. Half of the village was there, stocking up on supplies for the coming of the winter, elated to once again be able to breathe the fresh air.

He stopped by the milk stand and tapped on the counter.

"Oy, Hidan-kun! I heard that you were lost in the blizzard the other day, it's a wonder you returned alive."

Hidan didn't answer the man and instead look at him with large purple eyes. His voice sounded more cheerful than usual.

"Well," the man sighed. "It's a blessing you returned alive. This one is on me."

He handed the boy two cartons of milk and Hidan took them, surprised. No one ever gave anything for free in the village, supplies ran too thin. And no one would ever give him anything, because he was the boy of the one-handed man, the poor man in his poor hut on the edge of town. In the Hidden village of Ice the poor were purposely left behind.

Hidan turned away from the stand, confused, but he didn't want to complain for fear that the man may change his mind.

On his way back home he was stopped on the path by a girl.

"Hidan-kuuun!" the little long-haired girl threw her arms around Hidan's neck almost causing him lose his hold on the groceries and she started to sob on his chest. "I heard about your disappearance, I was so worried. If you got lost I don't know what I'd do!"

The girl Ame was the village's darling, the one who could brighten up the day even in the midst of a blizzard, and no one understood why she hung onto the poor boy who lived on the edge of the town, the silent boy who sometimes looked at you with something odd hiding behind his eyes. But even so, no matter what she did Hidan ignored her, he had no need for useless things, and to him, Ame was a useless thing.

The boy pushed her away and continued walking toward his home. Behind him he heard the girl sniffle. "Don't be mean to me, Hidan-kun. I'd do anything for you; one day you'll see. One day you'll see!"

………………………………………………………….

For the next few days a strange mood befell the village. There was rare laughter in the streets, children having snowball fights and snowmen built in front yards. People invited each other over for dinner, and cared about each other's worries. But most importantly they started to notice Hidan. For all his years he was nothing more than a snowflake when he wandered the streets, being ignored by all who were simply glad that he was the poor one and not them. They greeted him in the streets and asked about his baby sister. It became the kind of place Hidan used to dream about when he was younger, and then lost hope of ever finding.

It worried him.

Five days of the village's awakening passed, and on the sixth he found himself once more at the milk stand, tapping on the counter.

"Good morning Hidan-kun, what a beautiful day."

The man behind the counter beamed at the little boy and Hidan risked a small awkward smile back. But then something flashed in the man's left eye.

They stared at one another. The man with a smile plastered to his lips, and the boy with a frightened face. He waited, watching closely until the symbol flashed again. It was the symbol on his pendant. He involuntarily reached up to his chest where the pendant hung beneath his clothing, the man's eyes followed the motion.

"Niceness begets niceness," he said and turned away. "I've been very nice to you, we all have." He picked up an empty milk bottle and started cleaning it with a cloth. "But I wonder… have you been nice to me?"

The man turned and put the bottle back on the table. He looked the boy up and down.

"What is that you're wearing around your neck?"

Hidan stepped back but the man reached out and grabbed the chain around his neck and yanked him forward. His chest bumped painfully against the counter as the man brought the pendant forward and gazed at it intently, the symbol in his eye glowed red.

"Who did you pledge your loyalty to, Hidan-kun?"

"But I thought…" he began.

"Thought it was a dream?" the man said, cutting him off. "Who did you think delivered that goat to your door? Who do you think persuaded this old man to give you free milk? Did you think these selfish villagers had suddenly decided to be nice to you and your poor and filthy little family? Did you?"

The man yanked on the chain and the cold links rubbed painfully against Hidan's skin.

"I've done so much for you but what have you done for me?"

Behind the old man's voice was that of the unseen being that he had dreamt about so many nights ago, and the same fear he had felt then began boiling in his stomach how.

"I don't know what you want me to do," he stuttered.

Hidan had tried to forget, but now he was here. He was right to have been suspicious of the Ice's upheaval, but its happiness blinded even he who trusted no one.

"You didn't ask!" the man hissed and yanked on the necklace. "You thought I was a bad dream. You have yet to fulfill my first and most important commandment, the first step to gaining immortality. Or have you gone against your promise to me?"

"Ya, ya, I have not! Tell me what you want me to do." Hidan pleaded, struggling against the grip on his necklace.

The man smiled and leaned close putting his lips by the boy's ear. "On the floor of the cave where you found my holy symbol you must make a sacrifice. A sacrifice of virgin human blood."

"You want me to murder?" he whispered hoarsely.

The man cackled. "I am the God of blood and pain, of sacrifice and death, the powerful Jashin, the one to whom you swore your life. Obey me Hidan, and I will make your dreams come true, but cross me and you will face a fate more terrible than you can dream."

The man then released the boy and Hidan fell on the ground, holding his neck. Tears started to fall from the corner of his eyes and the man peeked over the counter.

"Oh hello Hidan, did you fall down?"

The purple eyed boy stood and turned away from the stand and ran away from the town as fast as he could, all the way home.

………………………………………………

That night Hidan was plagued by nightmares. Each one more terrifying than the last. He woke time and time again, with images of monsters, blood, and death flitting through the darkness of his room. Each time he looked at the clock to find that only a few minute shad passes. The night was endless, and by morning he was reduced to a pale and wide-eyed boy, fearing that the world was waiting to jump out at him from just around the corner.

As he sat at the kitchen table with heavy eyelids and a troubled mind, outside, another blizzard was brewing. His mother ushered him out of the house to stock up on supplies before the coming storm. So he left, and traveled down the empty pathway, afraid of meeting the angry God to which he so foolishly pledged his life.

"Obey me Hidan, and I will make your dreams come true, but cross me and you will face a fate more terrible than you can dream."

Death…or murder.

He arrived at the town, tired and frightened. It cost him a few moments before he noticed something was different. Gone was the happy smiles and laughter of the families and children, the snowmen and snow forts. Hidan had gotten used to the new town, that the reversion of the old one hit him hard.

He tapped sullenly on the counter-top of the milk stall. The old man ignored him. Hidan tapped again, louder, more impatiently. Finally the man sighed and put down the bottles he had been stacking and turned around.

"I can't waste any on you," he said.

Hidan stared at the man, unsure of what he had just heard.

"I said I can't waste any on you. I'm not selling you nothing. What's the sense, if you're gonna die soon anyway?"

Hidan searched the man's face, perhaps he just heard him wrong, perhaps the man was playing a joke on him, perhaps it was only his troubled mind playing tricks on him. But the old man simply stood there, looking at Hidan with scorning eyes, as if he was the filth of the earth, asking for something impossible.

"That's not fair," Hidan said finally, almost in a whisper.

"Fair? Hah! Life isn't fair little Hidan-kun. Those with more rule over those with less. That's just the way it is."

The man smiled, showing his yellowing teeth and a face full of grim satisfaction at the pain he was causing the poor boy in front of him.

"Isn't it a shame? I'll always be here, and every day I'll refuse to sell to you, every day until the day you die. And then I'll be happy that I was part of the cause of your death. Such a shame, and there's nothing you can do about it, nothing."

Before the man had stopped speaking Hidan had turned on his heel and ran. He ran from the man before, the other day, but not like he was now. The world was against him, a God had his blood on the mind. He had to save himself or he'd end up the way he saw himself those many nights ago, under cold and cracked bed-sheets sleeping forever in an unknown hell, picked especially for him.

"Hidan-kun!"

Ame was standing by the side of the road, watching him barreling down the pathway. Hidan reached out his arms and shoved her away and she fell into the snowdrift, disturbing light fluffy snow that shimmered like glitter in the cold afternoon sun.


	4. Sacrifice

Sacrifice

In the middle of the night Hidan rose from the small bed, dressed carefully and crept out of his house. The blizzard had started to blow though nowhere near as hard as the time he found the symbol in the snow. Though he was wearing many layers he shivered under the blankets and his teeth chattered uncontrollably. In his left hand he clasped the collar of his cloak and the cursed pendant that lie beneath it, and in his right he carried his father's hunting knife.

Though it was late Ame was still awake in her room. On her desk a candle was lit and she was painstakingly knitting a sweater for her friend and only love. The holidays were soon and she wanted to finish before then. She was just finishing the flowered pattern around the rim of the hat when a snowball hit her window. Startled, she stood and peered through the glass and out into the snowy night.

Ame's face appeared in the window and Hidan had the urge to run away before she spotted him. But then a smile crossed her face. Her lips moved and she motioned for him to wait, and Hidan waited, staring at the darkened room after she blew out the candle.

A few minutes later the door opened, very slowly, and she slipped out into the night and closed it behind her. Hidan watched her stumble out through the growing snow-piles to where he was standing on the pathway, and stop in front of him.

"Come with me, I want to show you something," he said.

Ame simply nodded, and a blush crossed her face when Hidan reached out to grab her hand and led her off into the night.

Neither spoke as the village fell further and further behind. Hidan was afraid that he wouldn't be able to find the cave again, but was surprised that the way seemed to be clear, and finally they reached the cave.

"In here," he said and led her by the hand into the darkness.

Once inside Hidan struck a match and lit lamp he brought with him and set it on a stone by the edge of the cave. Ame looked around, awed, and then back to Hidan who was watching her from beside the candlelight.

"It's so beautiful Hidan-kun. So…romantic…why did you bring me here?"

Hidan shuffled his feet in the ground. "You said you'd do anything for me?"

"Of course I would," she replied and smiled brightly. "Why?"

Hidan stepped forward and took her hand. "Because there's something I want you to do for me."

Ame's heart began to beat quickly, Hidan could feel it from the pulse in her wrist. "What's that?" she asked, quietly.

Hidan's heart began to beat as well, but for a different reason. He never had any use for the girl in front of him, but then again did she deserve the fate that was about to befall her? Hidan was rightened, desperate, better her than him, right?

"Lie on the floor," he said.

Without hesitation Ame lay upon the cold ground, rocks jutting into her back, but she did not complain. Hidan's right hand trembled as he grasped the handle of his hunting knife. Ame closed her eyes and waited. Hidan knelt beside her and looked at her face. It was happy, expecting, slightly nervous, perhaps is she could see his own face clearly she wouldn't feel that way.

Quickly he brought the knife out of his cloak and grasped it with a sweaty hand.

**Do it.**

Hidan wasn't sure if the voice had spoken to him or he imagined it in his mind, but either way it frightened him. He brought the knife to her neck, hovering mere inches above the pale skin.

**Do it now.**

At the sound of the voice something sparked inside of him. He found that though he sat sweating, terrified, above the girl to be his victim, some part of him wanted to kill her. She was a useless creature anyway, right? And the God of death and suffering had chosen him, him, and no one else. He drove him to find her, she who meant nothing in his eyes, drove him to bring her to this cave. This holy cave…

With a cry Hidan plunged the knife into her chest. Ame's eyes opened wide. Hidan pulled out the knife and dropped the bloody blade onto the floor, and watched as the blood began to flow out of the wound and pool onto the floor. Ame's mouth opened then and she screamed, a high pitched wail. Hidan covered his ears.

Somewhere a God was laughing.

The screams began to wane and soon there was only a small ragged panting. Hidan raised tear-streaked eyes and glanced down at the girl below him. The blood had pooled around his sitting figure, so he was surrounded by a dark red lake, and Ame's eyes were staring at him. her lips moved and he couldn't help but lean closer to hear.

"Maybe now…" her voice was small, growing weaker with each breath outward. "…you'll love me back."

Hidan watched her, waiting for her to say more but her eyes had glazed over white and there was no sound save the cry of the blizzard's wind.

He stood from the floor in a daze and his boots echoed across the cavern walls as he approached the far corner. There he placed his hands on the cool surface and pushed, panting, pushing because he felt he needed to, until the stone gave way and he stepped into another room. It was lit by candle-light, eerie and stale. Hidan moved to the far corner and picked up something lying atop the table, above it was the holy symbol of Jashin, its edges flickering as the wind blew the candle's flames.

It was a three bladed scythe. It bore the symbol of Jashin on its hilt. Hidan ran his finger across the blades and grinned, threw down his father's bloodied hunting knife, then turned and walked away.

I knew this would happen; I'm so sorry everyone but after this I haven't written anymore! I'm such a bad person to you all! But I really promise to finish this story, so check up on it every once and awhile. I also promise to continue the Chronicles for those of you who have been reading them.

-From your neglectful and horrible writer


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